![]() Couples counseling implies the abuse is equally both partners’ fault, when this type of abuse is definitely more one-sided. Counselors with expertise on dynamics of abuse recommend individualcounseling – for both the husband and wife – not couplescounseling.The post was reviewed by Naghmeh Abedini. This blog post was written by Julie Anne Smith, with contributions by Brad Sargent. If abusers refuse to work through individual counseling on their personal issues, that creates a stumbling block to relational reconciliation. Read more articles that highlight writing by Christian women at ChristianityToday.Experts on the dynamics of abuse strongly recommend separate, individual counseling for abuser and victim, not couples counseling. Take courage and speak up-God is with you. Seek counsel from those who love and support you. Tell a trusted Christian friend, counselor, or your pastor. How ought we respond to the recent news about the Abedinis? Let's continue to pray for Saeed and Naghmeh, both for Saeed's freedom and for healing for their family.Īnd if you are being abused verbally, emotionally, or physically-or if you know someone you suspect may be a victim of spousal abuse- don’t stay silent. ![]() “ If Your Husband Hits You” and “ The Hidden Problem of Domestic Violence” examine the prevalence of physical abuse in marriages today and provide practical resources for getting help.“ When Sex Becomes Abusive in Marriage” unpacks the difference between healthy sexual intimacy and unhealthy coercion or bullying in the bedroom.“ Your Husband Looks at Porn: Now What?” and “ How to Recover from Your Husband’s Porn Addiction” both provide insight specifically for wives on how to move forward and find healing as they face this problem in their marriage. Pornography use or addiction can contribute to serious marital strife or may even be a part of abusive behaviors.This article will help you discern the difference between normal conflict and bullying behaviors. What isn’t obviously “abuse” may still be a dangerously dysfunctional pattern. “ Bullying in Marriage” looks at what may be a gray area for many women.“ My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage” tells one woman’s story of her decision to finally go public about her husband’s ongoing emotional and verbal abuse.If you are in a situation in which you are being emotionally, verbally, or physically abused-or you wonder if your marriage struggles are moving into a gray area that's beyond the realm of “normal” conflict-these resources can provide you with insights on how to move forward. So what’s the difference between a healthy choice to keep marriage problems private and enabling abuse through unhealthy silence? The key is discerning between normal conflict and abuse.Ībuse can come in many forms, from verbal bullying to physical violence or sexual coercion. While the Abedinis' situation is unique in terms of the additional burden of international media attention, the pressure to stay quiet is one that nearly every woman in a bullying or abusive marriage faces. But as Christianity Today has reported, the public image of Saeed may not be not reflective of the reality Nagmeh says she has experienced in their marriage. As a prisoner in Iran, Pastor Saeed has been an ongoing focus of prayer as Americans have rallied for his freedom-and his wife Naghmeh has been a public voice for his cause. We see this tremendous pressure illustrated in the latest news about Saeed and Naghmeh Abedini. Christian women in dysfunctional or abusive situations often feel tremendous pressure to protect a “happy family” image and are reticent to tell others about what really happens behind closed doors if it will reflect poorly on their husbands. While it may be tempting to “vent” to friends or family members about our spouse, it’s not a healthy way to handle private matters, and it certainly doesn’t live up to the Golden Rule litmus test.īut this same piece of advice can very easily become dangerous, especially when it comes to bullying or abusive behaviors in marriage. One of the most important pieces of advice I received as a newlywed was, “When you have problems, don’t talk badly about your husband to others.” This is very wise and healthy advice when it comes to normal marital conflict.
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